Every parent knows the feeling. It's what you feel when you are in a public place, and your child decides that right then and there is the best time to argue about what you already said "no" to and in response holds you hostage with a limp body sprawled out across the floor with tears streaming down their face, yelling that they hate you and you are the worst parent in the world. It's what you feel when your two children fight with one another on a daily basis. It's what you feel when you get the phone call from the school principal notifying you of "an incident." It's what you feel when you simply want your child to listen and do what you ask.

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Ask any parent and they will tell you how frustrating, angering, infuriating even, it can be when your child misbehaves. We want to raise our children well. We want them to be respectful and good intentioned human beings. When our children fail to listen or respond to what we ask of them, or they act in a way that completely goes against what we value, we can feel powerless, helpless, shame or embarrassment. 

 

For many of us growing up, when we misbehaved, we were "disciplined," which meant that we were spanked, put in a corner for a timeout, or grounded. Some of us lost privileges or had our favorite things taken away. Some of us even were asked to pick out a "switch," which meant to go outside, and pick out a thin, flexible tree branch that could be used by our parents to spank us with. There were even others who were yelled at, screamed at, told we would never amount to anything, or even hit and punched...all in the name of "discipline." However, discipline has come to mean something entirely different than its origin. 

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The Meaning of Discipline

In their book "No Drama Discipline" Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson make the argument for reclaiming the word discipline. According to Siegel and Bryson, the word discipline has come to be