Biological Parents

What I Wish Someone Told Me...

When you become a parent...

...you long to build and strengthen a connection with your child. Unfortunately, parenting does not come with a handbook. No one gives you a manual that says, "This is what you do when you feel exhausted, alone, or when you are having a hard time liking your child." No one gives you a cheat sheet with formulas for what to do in difficult moments. Parenting is inevitably hard. It places you right back into the parent-child relationship, but this time, the role is different. How we have come to make sense of our childhood experiences plays a crucial factor in how we help and direct our kids.

The Art of Being Curious

Be curious for a moment. Imagine you and your child switched bodies. You are now your child. You are now your child's height and size. The abilities you now have are only those of your child's. Whatever the age your child is, that is now how old you are. For most of us, we can all remember being a kid. If we stop and allow ourselves, we can almost transport ourselves back to our favorite childhood memory or favorite childhood spot. Who was there? Where was it? If you close yo

Drew Ryan

May 232 min read

Our Inner Life

Imagine your spouse or partner tells you that your in-laws are coming over. Your told that they just want to give you something. "What if they come inside? The house is a mess. Dishes are dirty. Clothes are on the floor. Who knows what's in this bowl, and why is not in at least the kitchen, much less the sink? Ugh!" What do you do? Frantically, you pick up, and if nothing at all, you tidy things up. Why? You are afraid someone will criticize the way your home looks. If you ar

Drew Ryan

May 231 min read

Why Good Enough is...enough

When I was a teenager, I was determined to show all the adults in my life how to be a great parent and how they were not good parents. I was so judgmental. I think most kids are at least to some degree critical of their parents. When I got older in my 20's and before I got married and had kids of my own, my judgmentalism got even stronger. I saw parents correct their kids (or the lack thereof), and I would think, "I will NOT be that kind of parent. I will do things differentl

Drew Ryan

May 211 min read

Parents have the difficult task of balancing...

the development of each member of the family while meeting the needs of the family unit as a whole. At times individual needs and family needs conflict.

Attachment Theory

From the cradle to the grave we long to establish close bonds with trusted others we can lean on for care and support

Your Child Didn't Ask to Come Into This World

A Child's Perspective

With the choice of bringing a child into the world comes the responsibility of providing what every child deserves to receive.

Connecting with Your Child

Mirroring

We all need to see ourselves in others. When we notice ourselves in others, we feel a sense of belonging, included and togetherness. When we mirror the behavior and body language of our child, our child feels a deep connection with someone they can see themselves in, leading to stronger bond.

Matching Affect

In a general sense affect is the outward expression of how we feel inside. When someone matches with their voice, facial expression and body language how we feel, we no longer feel alone; we now feel "someone understands."

Attunement

Your child's behavior is seeking to meet a need. The need may be physical, emotional, or relational. Listening to and meeting your child's needs in a responsive way will lead to strong bonds between you and your child.